The Wrong Message

 I have taken quite a hiatus from blogging. 

Lucas and I have been busy! 

I am thrilled that many of you are now members of DSAP, we are closing in on 2,000 members internationally and I am in awe of you. Your dedication, progressive thought, tireless questioning, and  defiant expectations are my inspiration!

That is why I could not let this pass without reaching out to all of you.

There is a young athlete (does it even matter that he has T21?) who, by all accounts I've read,  is exceptional at basketball. He plays with tenacity and dedication, hard work and sportsmanship. The team he plays for however, is not the Varsity team. His mom and 46,000 other people who have signed a Change.org petition, believe he should have the right to wear that jacket.

http://www.sportingnews.com/ncaa-basketball/story/2015-03-27/student-special-needs-varsity-letter-jacket-wichita-high-school-east-blue-aces-michael-kelley

This is not an issue about basketball, a school district, or even T21.

This issue is about equality.

If the student didn't have T21, would anyone say he should get to wear a Varsity jacket when he didn't play for the team? 

By giving our children privileges they did not earn we are simply saying.."Here you go, I know you could never do this on your own."  Seriously? 

My oldest son is a goaltender in a travel hockey organization. Every year he must re-earn the right to play for that team. As much as my heart would break for him, if another athlete came to tryouts and was better, Noah should be cut from the team. That's life. 

We can not stand and demand equal treatment in some areas and demand special treatment in others. 

We must choose.

There are so many other ways to recognize this athlete. What about working with the sports department and designing a club jacket for his team that all the members could wear with pride? What about writing articles to newspapers and shamelessly bragging on social media about his accomplishments? What about working with the athletic director to have trophies and a time slot at the end of year Sports banquet?

I don't understand why it is acceptable to give our children something they didn't earn. I fear it's because the vast majority of people think it's somehow charitable or empathetic to "give" a sense of accomplishment to our children. Or worse, that that is the only way they could ever "compete." 

John Marrs is one of my favorite people (along with his awesome mom). Anyone who follows her blog knows the story, and if you are unfamiliar, just Google him. He was inducted to the National Honor Society alongside his peers. I can only imagine what it took for that young man to achieve such an honor..the tireless hours of studying, the extra effort, the above and beyond-ness of every academic task. And he did it. (My heart pumps with pride just thinking about it!)

http://myplace.frontier.com/~ezlopin/johnmarrs/index.html

But, don't many students do those things? Should all of our children be inducted in the National Honor Society because they gave everything they had but still came up short? And if you are tempted to answer "yes" for students with T21, what about students without? Schools are filled with good students who go above and beyond, working as hard as they can...but guess what? There is a grade cut off. Make it you're in, fall short, you're not.

There needs to be a conversation, and NOT with society at large...it needs to be amongst ourselves. What do we want for our children? Do we want them to be seen as valued and integral members of society? Or do we wish to foster resentment between them and their peers? Do we want our children recognized for their strengths...and yes, every single one of our children have strengths that are exceptional.

Do we want them to be seen as a collective group that can't achieve things on their own?

I am dismayed at the fact 46,000 people think so.